Zach: Ah, the good old days when people had corners.
Jessica (about bug on windshield): I think it’s a lightning bug.
Zach: What’s it doing outside in the middle of the day?
Jessica: Is it a crime for it to be out in the day?
Zach: No, but they’re usually out at night. If there was an owl sitting on that car over there, I’d be confused about that, too.
Zach: What were you looking for?
Jessica: My summer clothes.
Zach: … Shouldn’t they be with the rest of your clothes?
Jessica: I keep tank tops and shorts down here.
Zach: That’s… stupid.
Jessica: I have no closet.
Zach: You have two closets.
Zach (about Red Rover): I always won, though.
Jessica: Well yeah, no one was getting past you and no one was stopping you.
Zach: That game pretty much went “Red Rover, Red Rover, send Za… Josh right over.”
Jess: In five minutes I broke a vacuum and gashed my finger open.
Zach: That’s nothing. When the power blinked earlier, my computer rebooted while I was typing, and when I moved back to curse at it, the arm of my chair got wedged under the keyboard tray and it snapped apart. Then I backed up to curse again, one of the wheels came off the chair and I almost fell into the coffee table.
Zach (weaving through crowd at stadium during rain delay): I didn’t realize I was gonna have to navigate the Labyrinth for Dippin’ Dots. Keep an eye out, cause we might have to fight the Minotaur soon. I mean, I’ve had some training, but I’m not prepared. I’m not equipped for this. My shirt weighs like twenty pounds from the rain, I guess I could use it as a mace, but we’re talking serious improv here.
Zach: I realized today that my mind has two distinct halves. Zach is the lame one, and Ace is the cool one who says clever things. He’s actually talking right now, which means he’s speaking in third person.
Jess: Do you have a Martin Brody in there? [/psych reference]
Zach: No. I do have a Captain Quint though, he’s out right now, shopping for bigger boats.