Carlton Lassiter has, in all fairness, seduced someone before. A couple of someone’s actually, if he counts that one very pretty gentleman in the academy that he always pretends he doesn’t remember. But, that is all beside the point.
Because Shawn Spencer, fake psychic extraordinaire, does not and never should be qualified in the same category as normal people. And thusly, seducing him will not be as easy as seducing someone who is not clinically certifiable.
Which is the reason why Lassiter is currently sneaking away from the psych offices in the dark with near a dozen gourmet pineapples left behind him.
***
Shawn looks utterly befuddled when he arrives at the station the next morning, snacking on one of the delicious pineapples he’d discovered upon stopping into the Psych offices to pick up the bag of Bugle chips he’d left there.
“Would anyone happen to know why the very generous Fairy Godmother of Pineapples paid me a visit last night?” He inquires, rather loudly, and everyone in the station stops what they’re doing to turn and star at him. “No? Alright then.”
“Shawn!” Gus snaps, having walked in a few paces behind the not-psychic. “Don’t eat that! What if it’s poisoned or something? Whoever left the pineapples broke into our offices! Who knows what they did!”
“Oh, Gus,” Shawn chides, staring deliberately at Lassiter as he speaks – really, if the man is going to go about sneaking into places he’s not supposed to technically be, he should probably check for footprints before he leaves… and probably remember to make sure no one else is there when doing it. “Don’t be the stoned out pink elephants from Dumbo. I’m 87.42% certain that these pineapples were not meant to kill me.”
Gus frowns and walks away.
“Only 87.42%?” Lassiter dares to question from his desk.
Shawn grins. “Seduction by pineapple.” He hums to himself. “I approve, Lassi-face, I approve.”
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Because Shawn Spencer, fake psychic extraordinaire, does not and never should be qualified in the same category as normal people. And thusly, seducing him will not be as easy as seducing someone who is not clinically certifiable.
Which is the reason why Lassiter is currently sneaking away from the psych offices in the dark with near a dozen gourmet pineapples left behind him.
***
Shawn looks utterly befuddled when he arrives at the station the next morning, snacking on one of the delicious pineapples he’d discovered upon stopping into the Psych offices to pick up the bag of Bugle chips he’d left there.
“Would anyone happen to know why the very generous Fairy Godmother of Pineapples paid me a visit last night?” He inquires, rather loudly, and everyone in the station stops what they’re doing to turn and star at him. “No? Alright then.”
“Shawn!” Gus snaps, having walked in a few paces behind the not-psychic. “Don’t eat that! What if it’s poisoned or something? Whoever left the pineapples broke into our offices! Who knows what they did!”
“Oh, Gus,” Shawn chides, staring deliberately at Lassiter as he speaks – really, if the man is going to go about sneaking into places he’s not supposed to technically be, he should probably check for footprints before he leaves… and probably remember to make sure no one else is there when doing it. “Don’t be the stoned out pink elephants from Dumbo. I’m 87.42% certain that these pineapples were not meant to kill me.”
Gus frowns and walks away.
“Only 87.42%?” Lassiter dares to question from his desk.
Shawn grins. “Seduction by pineapple.” He hums to himself. “I approve, Lassi-face, I approve.”