csi_sanders1129 | Jul. 12th, 2008

Zach: Oh, I’m gonna quote myself trying to explain the plot of that game to you. If I can remember what I said.

Jess (Browsing the Wii menus): HOW THE FUCK DO I ESCAPE?!

Zach: I’m watching a full gameplay video of a game I used to have.
Jessica: Why?
Zach: Because I don’t have it anymore, and I want to see it again. It’s a really confusing time travel thing. You see, this guy in the 1500s makes a Homunculus-- you know what a Homunculus is?
Jessica: Yeah.
Zach: He makes a Homunculus because this guy whose traveling through time gives him the Philosopher’s Stone which just kind of poofs out of nowhere. And the Homunculus causes this big explosion that kills the guy who made him and his son gets a time machine from his future self and uses it to go after the other time traveling guy in the present and holds his sister hostage cause she’s the guy’s ancestress. But the Homunculus is trying to save himself and so he takes the--
Jessica: My brain hurts!
Zach: He takes the ancestress hostage in the past and replaces her with this other random girl and--
=0 A
Jessica: Seriously, you’re fucking up my game.
Zach: And the time traveling guy keeps getting killed and sent this void thingie where the Homunculus gives him this gizmo that lets him time travel in the first place and… Well, it makes more sense if you just watch the videos.
Jessica: MRRRRRRNGGGGGH! *character dies on screen*

Jessica: SQUIRRELS!
Zach: What?
Jessica: PANDA!

Jessica: Your mood changes confuse me.
Zach: What do you mean?
Jessica: This morning when I came down here, you were all happy.
Zach: I was?
Jessica: Well, you let me stay. But when I came down here a few minutes ago you were all irritated, and then you went back to happy. And now you’re going “mmhm”. I swear, you have more mood changes than a pregnant woman.
Zach (sobbing): Why do you insult me like this?! (and/or: AND WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?)

Jessica: I tried to get out of it.
Mom: No, you didn’t.
Jessica: Okay, fine. I thought about trying.
Zach: Trying and thinking about are two completely different things. If I think about setting a house on fire, and then I walk away - nothing happens. But, if I try to set a house on fire, I’m looking at 10 years. Bit of a difference.

Zach: It’s an MMO
Jess: Massively Multi-Player Online?
Zach: Yes, good job.
Jess: I’ve been practicing.
Zach: What’s an RPG?
Jess: Role Playing Game.
Zach: FPS?
Jess: First Person Shooter.
Zach: TPS?
Jess: Third Person Shooter.
Zach: RTS?
Jess: Ugh… Right… triangle… something?
Zach: No. Real Time Strategy. Moron.
Jess: Oh.
Zach: How about a QRT?
Jess: Um… Quantitative… Response… Time?
Zach: No.
Jess: What does it mean?
Zach: I don’t know, I just made it up.
Jess: Fuck you.

Zach: Stop messing with my quote book!
Jess: I didn’t type it in!
Zach: Well, I didn’t type it in!
Jess: It’s a ghostie.
Zach: Yes, the Magical Quote Ghost has visited my computer.

Jess: …’I’m gonna quote myself if I can remember what I said…’
Zach: I bet you can’t.
Jess: That’s nice of you, but that was one of the quotes in the quote book, dumbass.

Jess: SHIT! *types frantically at keyboard*
Zach: What’d you do?
Jess: ………… Nothing.

Brad: Please tell me theres a sequel.
Jess: There's not
Brad: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

more funny rants at his journal -