(no subject)

"So we're gonna move into, and really get ourselves into this whole idea of early 20th century stuff. Ugh, well roar in some 20's, we'll see if maybe there is some kind of link, connection, or at least mirror image of what happened in the late 20's and what is happening now. Ugh, right before we went into a Great Depression. Um, ya'll do realize that the Great Depression was not caused by the stock market crash, but by a lack of Prozac." *pause, then slowly a few students begin laughing* "Good! It takes a while to get there, alright. I actually did that, there was one semester, there was one of those classes that, that, that, just, you know. I'm talking, they're writing. I'm talking, they're writing. And it's like 'Hello, I'm up here!' and they'll go hello, i'm up here... *air scribbles* And they're writing it all down and I say, 'Now, I want you guys to remember, if you remember nothing else from this class, that the stock market crash didn't cause the Great Depression, it was caused by...' And, I mean, everybody's writing now, cause I said: well, i want you to remember. '... caused by a lack of Prozac.' Half the class just kept right on writing."

"We're going to keep a naval base on your soil. Down in the southeastern corner at a little place called Guantanimo Bay. How long did we keep Guantanimo Bay in Cuba? ... Well, what time is it? It's still there. 'No, it can't still be there, cause Cuba is communist with Castro, and Cuban missile crisis, and Bay of Pigs, and communists and all that. It's couldn't, we couldn't possibly have a US Naval base in Cuba, could we?' Yeah, we do. It's still sitting right down there. Even with the whole Socialist or Castro Revolution, which we'll get to in about a month. Yeah, ugh, yeah. We still have it. Get on GoogleEarth sometime, or one of those satelite deals and go to this part of Cuba and in this area on both sides of the bay, you'll see a scattering of buildings, moreso now than before, and a lot of electrified fence and barbed wire. And what's really cool is that Marines with guard dogs patrol the fence, kay? ANd they have high powered binoculars where they look across the fence and they see? Cubans with high powered binoculars and guards with dogs on the other side of the bay staring back at them. 'Hola' -'Hola' - '¿Como estas?' - 'Ahhh, muy caliente.' Right, and it's still there. We signed a lease for 100 years and when the lease was running out we thought, 'Ah, Castro's a communist, we're not giving it up.' But Gitmo's still there. Guantanimo's still there. Alright. Flew into it several times. You can get Burger King on the Southern Coast of Cuba."

"Puerto Rico, we flat out take it. I mean, period. We flat out take it. We know that Roberto Clemente is gonna be born there in the late 1930's and we wanna make sure that Roberto Clemente... *no one is getting the joke*... Ricky Martin? The guy from American Idol who cried the other night? Right? My wife told me all about him. He's from... I walked in and there's this guy on Idol and he's crying because I thought, you know, they were yellin' at him. Apparently, they were real nice to him, and my wife's sitting there and she's got a tear, and I'm like 'What in the world are you doing?' 'I'm watching American Idol.' 'And you're crying?' 'This is so sweet. He's from Puerto Rico.' Well, so were there Sharks from West Side Story! You know, so, so, so. So, apprently we knew all this was gonna happen, so Puerto Rico becomes a territory. Um, there are some folks in Puerto Rico today who want them to be independent. There has been an independence movement that has been violent. Ugh, in the 1950's, some folks who wanted independence for Puerto Rico tried to kill President Harry Truman, ugh, there have been several bombings in the United States capitol by Puerto Rican nationalists. And then there's the other side of the coin, with people who says Puerto rico should be the 51st state. You know, take us in, we want to be part of that. So, poor Puerto rico has kind of a Schizophrenic kind of relationship with us. Although ou can go to Puerto Rico, 'passports not needed by American Citizens.'... So we flat out took it."

"He [McKinley] also thought the Philippeines were a set of islands like off the coast of California." // "Oh, dear." // "Well, he's kinda right." // "Bout a couple hundred thousand miles off." // "Well, yeah, I mean the total other side of the Pacific ocean. But, you know, hey, what the heck. Relatively speaking."

"The Philippine-Americ an War. Although for many many many many many many years, if - not how - but, if it was written in American textbooks it was called the - I love it - Philippine Insurrection. As if we were there to help them out and all of a sudden they got uppity. How dare they? Wepromised them that they were supposed to - but, no. No, no, no, no. We all knew that the best guy to lead them... *pulls up new slide with this picture*I love the expression on that water bufallo's face. I mean, is that great, or what? Which one is the buffalo and which one is Taft?" - "The one that didn't get stuck in the bathtub." - "Ah, which is true." - "He got stuck in a bathtub?" - "The gentleman on the back of that poor creature literally, and this is not - you can look it up. Dude got stuck in a bathtub in the White House on his Inauguration Day. They actually had to get kitchen grease from the kicthen. You know, images of Moby Dick and Ishmael and a harpoon come to mind when you think of that gentleman stuck in a porcelain bathtub."

"Okay. Stop the guerillas from fighting. Oh, and it's *writes on board* Guerillas, not Gorillas. Okay? I will get that on a test. I will. I will."

Okay, enough of this. I'm on 26 minutes into the class out of 74 minutes.

(no subject)

"So we're gonna move into, and really get ourselves into this whole idea of early 20th century stuff. Ugh, well roar in some 20's, we'll see if maybe there is some kind of link, connection, or at least mirror image of what happened in the late 20's and what is happening now. Ugh, right before we went into a Great Depression. Um, ya'll do realize that the Great Depression was not caused by the stock market crash, but by a lack of Prozac." *pause, then slowly a few students begin laughing* "Good! It takes a while to get there, alright. I actually did that, there was one semester, there was one of those classes that, that, that, just, you know. I'm talking, they're writing. I'm talking, they're writing. And it's like 'Hello, I'm up here!' and they'll go hello, i'm up here... *air scribbles* And they're writing it all down and I say, 'Now, I want you guys to remember, if you remember nothing else from this class, that the stock market crash didn't cause the Great Depression, it was caused by...' And, I mean, everybody's writing now, cause I said: well, i want you to remember. '... caused by a lack of Prozac.' Half the class just kept right on writing."

"We're going to keep a naval base on your soil. Down in the southeastern corner at a little place called Guantanimo Bay. How long did we keep Guantanimo Bay in Cuba? ... Well, what time is it? It's still there. 'No, it can't still be there, cause Cuba is communist with Castro, and Cuban missile crisis, and Bay of Pigs, and communists and all that. It's couldn't, we couldn't possibly have a US Naval base in Cuba, could we?' Yeah, we do. It's still sitting right down there. Even with the whole Socialist or Castro Revolution, which we'll get to in about a month. Yeah, ugh, yeah. We still have it. Get on GoogleEarth sometime, or one of those satelite deals and go to this part of Cuba and in this area on both sides of the bay, you'll see a scattering of buildings, moreso now than before, and a lot of electrified fence and barbed wire. And what's really cool is that Marines with guard dogs patrol the fence, kay? ANd they have high powered binoculars where they look across the fence and they see? Cubans with high powered binoculars and guards with dogs on the other side of the bay staring back at them. 'Hola' -'Hola' - '¿Como estas?' - 'Ahhh, muy caliente.' Right, and it's still there. We signed a lease for 100 years and when the lease was running out we thought, 'Ah, Castro's a communist, we're not giving it up.' But Gitmo's still there. Guantanimo's still there. Alright. Flew into it several times. You can get Burger King on the Southern Coast of Cuba."

"Puerto Rico, we flat out take it. I mean, period. We flat out take it. We know that Roberto Clemente is gonna be born there in the late 1930's and we wanna make sure that Roberto Clemente... *no one is getting the joke*... Ricky Martin? The guy from American Idol who cried the other night? Right? My wife told me all about him. He's from... I walked in and there's this guy on Idol and he's crying because I thought, you know, they were yellin' at him. Apparently, they were real nice to him, and my wife's sitting there and she's got a tear, and I'm like 'What in the world are you doing?' 'I'm watching American Idol.' 'And you're crying?' 'This is so sweet. He's from Puerto Rico.' Well, so were there Sharks from West Side Story! You know, so, so, so. So, apprently we knew all this was gonna happen, so Puerto Rico becomes a territory. Um, there are some folks in Puerto Rico today who want them to be independent. There has been an independence movement that has been violent. Ugh, in the 1950's, some folks who wanted independence for Puerto Rico tried to kill President Harry Truman, ugh, there have been several bombings in the United States capitol by Puerto Rican nationalists. And then there's the other side of the coin, with people who says Puerto rico should be the 51st state. You know, take us in, we want to be part of that. So, poor Puerto rico has kind of a Schizophrenic kind of relationship with us. Although ou can go to Puerto Rico, 'passports not needed by American Citizens.'... So we flat out took it."

"He [McKinley] also thought the Philippeines were a set of islands like off the coast of California." // "Oh, dear." // "Well, he's kinda right." // "Bout a couple hundred thousand miles off." // "Well, yeah, I mean the total other side of the Pacific ocean. But, you know, hey, what the heck. Relatively speaking."

"The Philippine-Americ an War. Although for many many many many many many years, if - not how - but, if it was written in American textbooks it was called the - I love it - Philippine Insurrection. As if we were there to help them out and all of a sudden they got uppity. How dare they? Wepromised them that they were supposed to - but, no. No, no, no, no. We all knew that the best guy to lead them... *pulls up new slide with this picture*I love the expression on that water bufallo's face. I mean, is that great, or what? Which one is the buffalo and which one is Taft?" - "The one that didn't get stuck in the bathtub." - "Ah, which is true." - "He got stuck in a bathtub?" - "The gentleman on the back of that poor creature literally, and this is not - you can look it up. Dude got stuck in a bathtub in the White House on his Inauguration Day. They actually had to get kitchen grease from the kicthen. You know, images of Moby Dick and Ishmael and a harpoon come to mind when you think of that gentleman stuck in a porcelain bathtub."

"Okay. Stop the guerillas from fighting. Oh, and it's *writes on board* Guerillas, not Gorillas. Okay? I will get that on a test. I will. I will."

Okay, enough of this. I'm on 26 minutes into the class out of 74 minutes.