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Dec. 22nd, 2009 09:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
csi_sanders1129"McKinley and Senator Hanna are sitting around going 'SO, what are we gonna do about Roosevelt?' They gotta do something. He's got PR, he was in the war, he's earned the Medal of Honor and he wants it...What can we do? And Senator Hanna says 'Not to fear, I've got the perfect place to hide him. We'll put him in a positing where he will be lost forever because it has absolutely no power, no authority. It is the back water of everything, let's make him... Vice President." - "Just don't get shot." - "That's it. As long as McKinley stays healthy, we're fine. Cause, of course, nothing like that's ever gonna happen, right? Right? Well, in 1901, President McKinley's up in Buffalo and he's shaking hands. Basically, he's standing there for hours going 'Hi, how ya doing? Nice to see you.' Like politicians all do. Cause, I mean, they all look at you and go 'Oh, hi! How ya doing? Nice to see you!' as if they're your long lost brother. And, so, for hours... Then finally, some guy walks by with his right hand all bandaged. McKinley, he starts to reach out with his right hand, but he see's the bandage, so he reaches out with his left and says 'Oh, you poor man,' and the poor man says 'Yes,' and raises his bandaged hand and... fires a bullet into McKinley's stomach. Because in the bandaged hand was a gun.
McKinley lingered for several days, near death. And, finally, he succumbed to his wounds. McKinley died - and he stayed dead - much to the chagrin of Mrs. McKinley, I'm sure.
But, when Senator Mark Hanna, the gentleman who had been the whole power behind McKinley, when he heard that his friend had died, his first words were not 'Poor President McKinley,' or 'Poor Mrs. McKinley.' No, his first words? 'Oh my God, the damn cowboy is in the White House!' Honestly.
Teddy is now the President. And remember now, this is the reason I said, the other day about this, after he sent Admiral Dewey off to the Philippines, he told his friends 'The Secretary of the Navy is away, I am having tremendous fun running the Navy!' Can you imagine his excitement now!? 'Ohboyohboyohboy!!! I got the whole country! Hell, I got the whole world!!!! OHBOY!' I mean, like the hell with that medal of honor deal, I'M PRESIDENT! YAY!"
I was looking for a song Awesome!Prof played last semester, but I found this, realized I hadn't posted it, and while laughing probably a little more than hysterically, decided I must.
McKinley lingered for several days, near death. And, finally, he succumbed to his wounds. McKinley died - and he stayed dead - much to the chagrin of Mrs. McKinley, I'm sure.
But, when Senator Mark Hanna, the gentleman who had been the whole power behind McKinley, when he heard that his friend had died, his first words were not 'Poor President McKinley,' or 'Poor Mrs. McKinley.' No, his first words? 'Oh my God, the damn cowboy is in the White House!' Honestly.
Teddy is now the President. And remember now, this is the reason I said, the other day about this, after he sent Admiral Dewey off to the Philippines, he told his friends 'The Secretary of the Navy is away, I am having tremendous fun running the Navy!' Can you imagine his excitement now!? 'Ohboyohboyohboy!!! I got the whole country! Hell, I got the whole world!!!! OHBOY!' I mean, like the hell with that medal of honor deal, I'M PRESIDENT! YAY!"
I was looking for a song Awesome!Prof played last semester, but I found this, realized I hadn't posted it, and while laughing probably a little more than hysterically, decided I must.
