Fic: Forget Me Not

[csi_sanders1129]

Title: Forget Me Not
Chapters: 4/5
Author: csi_sanders1129
Genre: Drama. Romance. Angst.
Ratings: T
Word Count: ~2,100
Pairings/Characters: Jason Morgan/Damian Spinelli
Synopsis: Jason was looking forward to returning home. He hoped that that, at least, would be familiar, so he could get his mind off of the things that he didn’t recall. Like Damian Spinelli.
Comments: Finally finished this with substantial help from suerum  Ugh, a bit AU, but not overly so. Just pretend Franco wasn't around and you'll be fine. Characters aren't mine. Enjoy!

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | 

It started with his eyes. Despite his desire to do nothing but sleep, he knew that he should open them, but he couldn't force them to obey his commands. For a second he'd thought maybe he was just that tired, but then his head started pounding worse than it had all night and he'd tried to reach up to it. His hand wouldn't move either.

Spinelli tried to make a noise, shift something, do something, anything that would alert Jason to his apparent dilemma, but nothing happened. Nothing would cooperate with him.

Thoughts started swimming, then, and that was the last thing he remembered.

***

Acute Subdural Hematoma. That was the term Patrick kept using. Jason only had a vague idea of what it meant – that Spinelli was bleeding into his brain – but he didn't need to know much more than that to understand the severity. If he had needed more, the MRI and CAT scan images that Dr. Drake had summarized for him would have sufficed.

"You're his medical proxy; I need you to consent to the surgery, so we can remove the blood clot." Patrick explained, looking impatient, as if every moment he spent explaining this to Jason was more like an hour.

"Can I see him first?"

"It'll take us a few minutes to get everything set up; you can have as long as that takes." The doctor told him, offering a clipboard with the pertinent paperwork attached.

Jason signed off and returned the papers to Patrick. With a nod, he headed off to prepare, leaving Jason alone with Spinelli. The younger had briefly returned to consciousness in the ambulance but had faded out on them again before anything could be asked or answered. It was all the more terrifying watching Spinelli fall into unconsciousness. Jason had only managed to sit by and squeeze Spinelli's hand.

It was a difficult thing, Jason reasoned as he stepped into the room Spinelli was temporarily placed in, seeing him like that, surrounded by wires and looking so small on the hospital bed - it just wasn't right. He was too still, too quiet. Spinelli was always moving, always talking, always thinking. This couldn't be Spinelli.

The room seemed to lengthen with every step he took towards Spinelli's prone form, he never seemed to get any closer, but eventually he reached out and his hand, of its own free-will, brushed the messy mop of Spinelli's hair away from the dark purple bruise on his forehead.

"Spinelli," he said, his voice low and quiet, as if speaking any louder would break the spell of whatever was keeping Spinelli here with him. "I am so sorry about these past few days. I put you through so much and then Sonny..." He had to stop then, to control the fury that took over his stone cold eyes. The hand that didn't move to seek out Spinelli's curled into a fist as he thought of what Sonny had done to him, and what he himself had allowed to happen. Sonny would pay for his crimes against the Jackal in blood and pain, Jason would guarantee it.

But that could wait. Spinelli was his priority right now – not revenge or justice or anything else. "Anyway," he said swallowing and speaking thickly, having no idea if the unconscious young man before him was aware of his presence, if he could hear him, but compelled to say the words nonetheless. "Anyway, what I wanted to tell you tonight, before this..." he gestured helplessly at the comatose form lying on the emergency room bed, "Is that I remember everything, even the fact that you were the one who found me and saved me in the park. I was distracted because I was thinking about you." He grinned, a small uplifting of his lips, "The truth is that for the past several weeks, I haven't been able to think of anything but you."

"Not that I mind," he added hastily, "I ended things with Sam and I didn't really understand why myself, at first, just that it wasn't working. That night in the park though, I got it, I finally got it. There was the threat from the new Irish organization moving in and I should have been thinking about all kinds of things - about keeping Sonny safe, and Carly and the kids, and yet, I didn't care about any of that. All I could think about, care about, was keeping you safe and that's when I knew it."

Here he paused and for a brief moment he closed his eyes, then he opened them and looked down once more at the recumbent form of his protégé, "I love you, Damian Spinelli, plain and simple. So, here's what you're going to do: You're going to make it through this surgery with flying colors and then, if you want," a spear of pain shot through him at the thought of what he'd do if the Jackal didn't want. "We'll figure this thing between us out. So, you fight," he said fiercely, "No excuses, you survive." Bending down, Jason brushed his lips across Spinelli's unresponsive ones and whispered, "I need you."

"Jason," a voice said, startling him out of the silent trance he'd fallen into by watching Spinelli. It was Patrick, with two surgical nurses just behind him. "We need to take him now."

Jason nodded and reluctantly surrendered his grip on Spinelli's hand and headed for his torturous exile to the surgical waiting area.

The waiting was the worst part. Just sitting there and waiting to be told whether the surgery had been successful or… well, Jason wasn't really ready to consider any other possible outcomes. Absently, as he paced back and forth across the waiting area, he wondered if these rooms were designed with the intention of driving their occupants insane. The room he was in had no windows, no clock, with no way of watching time progress. Had it not been for his watch, he would have been frozen in time. There was a television mounted to one wall, but it seemed perpetually tuned to soap operas and talk shows, no matter that it was something like two in the morning. The magazines tossed about on any flat surfaces available in the room were all outdated and folded over from use. Not that he felt much like reading them anyway.

Someone came by after about two hours and offered him a coffee. "There's breakfast being served in the cafeteria now, too, if you're interested." They said as they left, but he wasn't interested and he replied with as much before reclaiming his seat.

"Jason."

It was Robin this time. She hadn't been in on the surgery, but he thought maybe she might know something on Spinelli's status. "Have you heard anything yet?" He asked, on his feet and across the room in seconds.

"Not yet, no. But no news is usually good news." She assured him. "It is dangerous, what they're doing, but Patrick's good at what he does, Jase."

This did nothing to placate him, though. Nothing would, not until he saw Spinelli, could talk to Spinelli and know he was okay. "How much longer do you think it'll take?"

Robin shrugged, took a seat and motioned for him to do the same. "I don't know." She answered honestly. "If you want to go home and get some rest, you should. You're still recovering from your own bump to the head."

"I'm fine." He insisted. Because, as far as he was concerned, he was - his headache was little more than a dull achy feeling and he had his memories back. "I need to be here."

"Doctor Scorpio to the ER," Came the page from the PA system. "Doctor Scorpio to the ER."

"I'll come back and check on you later, see if I can find anything out about Spinelli for you." She said, even as she took her leave.

He'd fully intended to attempt to relax – as best he could with what was going on – and he'd succeeded in blocking out the rest of the word for about ten minutes before his cell phone rang out from his pocket.

Sam's name crossed the display screen and reluctantly he flipped it open. "Yeah?"

"Hey, Spinelli told me about the accident, and I know he's not staying with you, but I checked Kelly's and he's not answering his phone. He was supposed to meet me for a stakeout and he hasn't showed yet…"

"We're at the hospital." Jason told her solemnly. "Sonny bashed his head into a wall. He was fine for a while but he passed out at home. He's in surgery now."

There was a long pause following his words, but Jason could hear the sounds of a car engine. "I'll be there soon."

And she was. Not fifteen minutes later, Sam was sitting across from him in the waiting room as he explained the events that had occurred between finding Spinelli at Sonny's and his passing out.

"So you remember everything now?" She asked, when he had concluded his account. He hadn't said as much, but given Spinelli's return to the Penthouse and how on edge Jason was over what had happened, she felt it was a safe assumption.

"Yeah," he nodded, glancing anxiously at his watch again – it had been close to three hours now since they'd taken Spinelli away from him. With a sigh, he forced himself not to think of what that could mean. "And I remember that I owe you an explanation, too, for some things."

Sam shrugged. "I wouldn't argue with that."

Jason dragged a hand over his face, sighed again as he figured out how to word this. "I, ugh, needed to break up with you so that I could think some things through. Where we stood – you agree that we hadn't really been working lately, right?"

She considered this question for a moment. Thought back to Jason's odd behavior over the couple weeks before they'd ended things. He'd been distant and distracted and not quite as interested. She'd seen the break-up coming even if she didn't know the reasons behind it. "Yes."

He nodded and continued on. "Well, lately – the last few weeks - I've been thinking about Spinelli. I can't stop, really – of keeping him safe from the mob, from the police, from Maxie's self-destructiveness – I was thinking about Spinelli when I got hit in the park, and I'm pretty sure that's why he's the only one I forgot."

"That kind of makes sense." She admitted, even as she attempted to process what he was telling her. Surely he did not end things solely because he was worried about Spinelli's safety. "When you say thinking about Spinelli, you mean…?"

"That I have feelings for Spinelli." He clarified firmly. "If – when," he paused to correct himself, "when he wakes up, he and I can figure it out."

It was certainly surprising to hear that Jason had been concealing such feelings from her, and it was equally surprising to think he'd been drawn to Spinelli, of all people, but none of that mattered right now. It took her a moment to gather her thoughts on how to reply to such an admission. With a sigh, she settled a hand on his shoulder, "He'll get through this, Jason." Sam promised. "I have a feeling Spinelli be around for a long time. And, when he does get better, I'll be around for both of you, whatever happens."

Jason stared at her. He hadn't been prepared for her to be so onboard with his reasons. "Thanks." He said simply.

She nodded in silent response to his surprised reply, and some of the awkwardness and tension in the room seemed to dissipate. "You think we'll hear something soon?"

"I hope so."

'Soon' ended up being another forty minutes. Patrick came in, Robin just behind him, and Jason and Sam both regarded them warily, as is often the case in such conditions. Patrick nodded slightly, enough to tell them that the news was good, and that had Jason moving.

"He's alright?"

"Spinelli's being moved out of recovery and into a room now. He's awake, and so far, everything is fine." Dr. Drake said, with a grin. He explained the details of the procedure, which had gone smoothly, and that Spinelli had full movement of arms and legs and fingers and toes, and likewise seemed to be in control of all his mental faculties. "He should make a full recovery."

Relief coursed through Jason's body at the words. Spinelli was okay. "Can I see him?"

Robin grinned and nodded. "Yeah, he's asking for you."