Fic: An Impasse

[csi_sanders1129]

Title: An Impasse
Chapters: 1/1
Author: csi_sanders1129
Genre: Humor.
Ratings: T
Word Count: ~1200
Pairings/Characters: DiNozzo/McGee
Synopsis: Tony and Jethro the German Shepherd have come to a bit of an impasse over the sleeping arrangements at McGee's.
Comments: Written with the amusing input and assitance of cynical_sweater. And, despite the fact that Gibbs/DiNozzo is my OTP, this somehow managed to get to me first. So, my first venture into NCIS fandom. Not mine. Enjoy!

“No.”

McGee heaves an exasperated sigh. “Come on, Tony. It’s not that bad.”

The stubborn man shakes his head, though. “No, I outright refuse; in fact, I vehemently disapprove of you ever allowing this to happen, Probie.”

“Tony, damn it. He’s a dog; he does not care about where you sleep in relation to where he sleeps as long as it means he gets to be in his spot.” They’ve been up for nearly 24 hours and all McGee wants to do is pass out and sleep for the next week, but now Tony’s starting all of this.

“In case you haven’t noticed, McGee, his spot is my pillow!”

Jethro looks up at the two men, otherwise undisturbed. He lets out one of his trademark ‘look-at-me-I’m-so-adorable’ groans and snuggles further against Tony’s pillow.

“Fine.” Tony finally huffs, giving in to both the canine cuteness and the fact that he is severely sleep deprived. “You win, McGruff.” He flops down on the quarter of the bed that’s left; pausing before his head hits the pillow to make sure Jethro remembers which man takes him for walks.

“Go to sleep.” McGee demands, flipping out the light.

Tony rolls his eyes, silently mocking his lover’s words as he does so. “Night.”

“Goodnight.” The younger growls.

Only, McGee’s not that good at growling.

“Wow, you’ve been practicing or something?” Tony’s eyes snap open when he hears the familiar sound of McGee’s snoring. His attention focuses on the large German shepherd currently sleeping between he and his lover. He knew this was a bad idea.

“McGee?” He whispers. “Tim? Probie?” He swallows, as the growling continues. Visions of Mrs. Mallards terrifying Corgi’s pale in comparison. If he dared to move his arm, he’d simply headslap his human bed partner, but seeing as Jethro is voicing that plan’s chances of success, he decides against it and instead climbs slowly out of bed.

As soon as he’s out, Jethro rolls over, entirely into Tony’s space, but only after sneezing on Tony’s high thread count pillowcase.

“Aww, come on.” Tony groans, and attempts to pull his beloved pillow free. Jethro lets out a barely audible growl and he gives up. “Don’t-“

The light flips back on. McGee rolls over and grabs Tony’s pillow, pulling it away without so much as a disappointed grunt from his dog, and tosses it in his lover’s general direction. “He doesn’t like to share.”

“I noticed.” Tony grumbles. He stands and walks toward the bedroom door, resigning himself to the reality that he has actually allowed himself to fall for someone with a dog that kicks him out of bed. It’s his own fault, really.

McGee sits up. “Where’re you going?”

Tony stops to grab a spare blanket from the closet.”Couch!” He hears McGee protest, but is too tired to relent, so he plants himself on the semi-comfortable loveseat and shuts his eyes.

It seems like only seconds pass before there’s a soft tug on his pillow. Then, a more demanding tug. McGee, he thinks, not the first time McGee has used his own pillow against him. Many a time he’s woken up to it being thwacked against his skull.

Only, um, ouch, McGee doesn’t bite him when he does it. Alert again, he lifts his head, and just like that his pillow is gone, being carried away by a canine with a lot of nerve.

“That dog did not just--” He’s off the couch, returning to Tim’s room to find Jethro sleeping once again in his spot, with his pillow under his head. He walks over to McGee’s side of the bed and removes his pillow in much the same fashion. His lover’s head hits the mattress and now at least they’re both awake and pillowless.

“What’s wrong, now, DiNozzo?” Tim groans, and damn it, all he wants t do is get some sleep.

“Rin Tin Tin over there came out and stole my pillow.” Tony glares at the offending canine, who does nothing, but a soft snoring sound is coming from his direction.

McGee grabs for his own pillow, but Tony is faster. “No, you don’t get to sleep until I get to sleep, got it?”

“Tell me why I agree to let you say here?” McGee is seriously wondering at this point. He must have been tripped out on some sort of medication when this whole thing started. It’s a shame his brain is feeding him information like that right now.

“Well, Timothy, because you love me, of course. Don’t feel bad, everyone d-” A solid fist to the shoulder cuts him off, and, wow. “McGee, have you been working out? That almost actually hurt.”

McGee rolls his eyes. “If you want your spot back, tell him you’ll get him a t-r-e-a-t. Walk out, run back. You’ll win.”

“All this just to get you into bed?” Tony grins as he exits the room again and easily dodges the rather pricey Italian show McGee throws at him. He makes a mental note to grab that on his way back in, because he’s sure Jethro will decide its food once he loses his spot.

Jethro’s head perks up at the sound of the treat cabinet opening. The rest of him does a moment later when the bag of Beggin’ Strips shakes.

“And, he’s off.” Tim calls, as the canine sprints out of the room.

Tony takes time to hide the treat just behind the couch, after leaving a phony trail leading around the living room once or twice before he darts back to the bedroom.

He hears Jethro bark happily upon locating his treat – how does he always forget that Jethro was previously a drug sniffing dog? Beggin’ Strips might well as be drugs to him, anyway – and he can hear the canine fast approaching him. He makes a running leap onto the bed, landing partially on top of McGee in the process. “Made it.” He pants, and McGee laughs. “What?”

“Barely.” He motions for Tony to look over his shoulder, where what Tony can only assume is a very not amused German shepherd, despite his owner’s apparent amusement.

Jethro is flopped out beside Tony, head on his very expensive pillow (now caked in bits of Beggin’ Strip and dog slobber), but otherwise not looking murderous. The dog nudges the ruined pillowcase in Tony’s direction and whines.

“I think you win.” McGee grins. “He’s offering to share.”

“Really?” Tony grabs for the pillow, but when he tries to completely retrieve it, Jethro lets out a low growl and Tony relents. “Fine, then, Cujo. Truce.” He offers a hand and Jethro accepts, offering a paw in return. Tony turns his back to the animal, an arm curling around McGee. “Okay, he’s not so bad, really.”Jethro licks the back of his neck, which causes Tony to cringe but otherwise not flip out. “Really.”

All is silent for a moment, until McGee grins. “You realize he just used you as his own personal napkin, right?”

Tony glares at both of his bedmates and decides that Gibbs’ idea is a good one. A headslap never hurt anyone.

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